I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.