my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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