I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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