my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
