I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
