I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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