My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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