U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
