the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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