All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
