Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
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He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
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