like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
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Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
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I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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