I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
