Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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