this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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