I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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