Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
