I'm gonna have a badass scar
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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