i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
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i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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