i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
