Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
