It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
