we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize