I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
