At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
