mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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