So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
