I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
