Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
