I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
