i don't like sucking hair
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
