well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
