if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
