Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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