Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
