Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
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I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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