I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we're making bets on your personal life
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
