12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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