i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
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I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
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He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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