New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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