I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
