when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
