Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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