Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
