your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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