this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
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She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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