Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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