I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
