arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
