We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Plan B is the new Plan A
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
