You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
