eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
