Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
