you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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