just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
