someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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