I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
My ATM looks so different sober.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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