We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
