Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize