i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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