I want to make a zoo with you.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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