Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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