i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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