It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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